A Solemn Vow, in Front of Witnesses

I was given some cash for Christmas, and with it I bought my heart’s desire (or at least one of them – there are many): a pair of Felcos.  My history with hand pruners is not good.  Knowing myself as I do, I generally buy cheap pruners, anticipating that their life span will be less than a year.  They will either be lost behind a shrub, rusted shut after being left to fend for themselves in the rain, or hopelessly dulled through misuse and abuse.  Most likely all three.  But this year – oh, this year!  I will be good.  So very very good.  It is the new year, and all things are possible.

And so I vow that this year I will:

  1. Bring my pruners inside every day, and not leave them all alone outside perched on top of a fence post.
  2. Cease cutting wire with my pruners because I am too lazy to go inside to get wire cutters.
  3. Use a pruning saw to cut tree limbs, rather than mashing said limb into my pruners and forcing the blades shut between my elbow and thigh.
  4. Refrain from cutting nefarious woody weeds below the soil line with my pruners.  I shall employ a garden fork to elevate the buggers and then behead them.
  5. Refuse to use my pruners for any non-gardening tasks, such as snipping the rage-inducing plastic ties that hold plastic toys to their plastic packaging.
  6. Clean the dirt and bits of greenery from my pruners on occasion.  Promising to oil them regularly and disinfect them between cuts on a rose is going too far.
  7. Use my pruners gently, love them tenderly, and resist the temptations of pruner abuse.

 These things I solemnly vow, at least for the time time being.

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